Not Alone
by chimongra
Summary: The longer Hera spends with Kanan, the more certain she is- he's alone in his life. It doesn't come much of a surprise when she swears to remedy that by inviting him to fight with her against the Empire- what DOES is when they make a family together.
1. Hera

**Hello again, faithful readers of old and new beginners! Welcome... to an attempt at romance.**

 **Warning. This story's not your typical 'x loves y and they kiss' sort of thing. It's entirely from Hera's perspective, seeing how the addition of each member of the crew affects Kanan, with the romance-y bits coming at the _end_. Just to clear up confusion before it starts. :p**

 **If you have read 'A New Dawn', ignore this- if you haven't, the first few paragraphs lightly go over when Hera first meets Kanan, which includes Gorse (the planet they met on) and the name Okadiah (Kanan's 'fatherley' figure). They don't play major roles in the story, so do not be alarmed- all is well. And I highly recommend the book, it's awesome.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: See, you can tell I don't own Rebels, because Disney pulls off Hera's relationship with Kanan flawlessly, while I flounder aimlessly over here in the corner.**

* * *

She'd seen it in his eyes when they first met, on Gorse. He hadn't exactly been the most eloquent at the time, nor the most able to communicate, but Hera had still managed to grasp the concept that followed her even now.

It hadn't been an _instantaneous_ revelation from the moment she'd met him, because the only thing she'd obviously picked up on _then_ was a flummoxed man trying to find the words he needed to speak. But the longer she'd spent with him, the more she was exposed to his mannerisms and who he was...

Hera had seen it in how cautious he'd been. In the way he'd always hesitate before agreeing to follow the plans they'd made. In how he hadn't been able to leave the old man, Okadiah, in the mines until he had died. In how he had been unsure about permanently joining her one moment, and the next so enthusiastic he'd turned twelve for a second.

Kanan had been alone.

He had been alone, and had been reluctant to fill his life with people once more in the fear of having them ripped away.

Of course, when he'd revealed his Force-sensitivity, her theory made even more sense. After all, there were barely _any_ survivors from the Jedi Order of old, and if he was one of them, then nearly everyone he knew was either dead or in hiding where he couldn't find them. If he had been a part of their Order, everyone he would have known and made connections with would have been ripped away from him, and an event like that would be impossible not to leave scars.

So, it was a logical deduction to say that Kanan Jarrus was very much so alone in his life, too afraid to make deep connections for fear of being wounded by them.

Now, Hera was a compassionate person. Feisty and willful, most definitely, but compassionate was another one of her core traits. It hadn't exactly been a surprise to find that she was so ready to help out this man, especially when she'd worked together with him so well and had already started a friendship with him.

What _had_ been a surprise was when she'd built up an entire crew with him, a crew so tightly knitted together that a better describing word would be family. Hera hadn't even _considered_ forging those bonds until her fight in the Rebellion was long over...

But when Hera had decided to help Kanan with his loneliness, it seemed that he had set out to help hers as well.

* * *

It had started, of course, with just the two of them. There had been a little awkwardness as they sorted out their boundaries- they weren't just partners in crime or friends, they were... complicated.

It was obvious he had soft spot for her. Whether or not she had one for him, Hera hadn't really given herself the opportunity to think on, because they were part of something much bigger than themselves. It was _because_ of that bigger involvement that they'd gotten together in the first place, and Hera never let herself forget that. There were more important things out there than a single relationship, and until their fight was over, she wouldn't allow herself to be distracted.

It had taken a little while for Kanan to accept that, though. He'd never openly flirt, but from his mannerisms and conversation, Hera knew he hadn't given up. He never invaded any boundaries, and for that, Hera was grateful.

Eventually, though, the open- ish -attempts at romance were downgraded severely, and Hera felt that it had something to do with the introduction of Chopper. Not majorly, of course, it wasn't like the astromech played a huge part in their relationship, but instead he served as a reminder that they were, indeed, fighting the bigger fight. That and the addition of a spunky droid meant they were no longer completely alone on the _Ghost_.

The signs were still there, though. Hera didn't miss the few times when Kanan would look at her for just a second longer than was wont, or the thoughtful gestures that only a true friend would know. But they weren't romantic gestures: the two of them were generally so close as friends that they just enjoyed being around one another. He was no longer trying to 'woo' her, he had just buried his soft spot enough so he could concentrate on the bigger fight.

And Hera knew that was a good thing. Because she'd been able to provide Kanan with a lasting bond, without romance involved- without completely ruining him.

Because that could have been a problem. A major one. If Kanan hadn't let go of his 'soft spot,' things would have only taken a turn for the worse. She would never let herself lose focus on the goal at hand, meaning if he had been adamant on pursuing a relationship... eventually, she would have had to let him go. And that would probably have ensured that he would _never_ open up to anyone again, something Hera would never wish upon anyone.

Now, though, she was no longer entirely sure of where they stood together. They knew one another inside and out, they fought together, risked their lives together, laughed together... she could feel the bond between them strengthening every successful (and not so successful) op they ran together, and while before she had been happy just for Kanan, now she could no longer say their deepening friendship _only_ made _him_ happy. It didn't really matter to Chopper either way.

And so, as Hera had introduced the first lasting two bonds that Kanan would form to _him_ , so too had he introduced the first two _family_ members to _her_.

Because if there was one word that could accurately describe her relationship to Kanan without needing further explanation, it was family.


	2. Zeb

**So, surprising turn of events, Zeb's chapter is actually longer than Hera's. Weird, because I can _never_ figure out how to write Zeb. Kanan and Hera no problem, but something about our favorite _definitelynotChewie_ figure just makes it difficult for me to get into his head.**

 **Disclaimer: Again, _kinda_ obvious I don't own Rebels, because Disney _knows_ how to write Zeb. On the other hand, I... yeah. Floundering in the corner.**

* * *

The third bond for the both of them had come in the form of a moping purple lasat who'd had just one too many drinks at the Joe's Diner.

They'd been heading in to acquire some food rations and such when Kanan had noticed him sitting in one of the corner booths, his downcast eyes glaring into the cup that seemed entirely too small for his gargantuan hand. There had been a moment where Kanan had simply stared over at him, eyebrows crinkled in a slight, thoughtful frown, and then he'd told Hera to carry on without him for a little bit.

She hadn't seen the lasat at first, only noticing him when Kanan had headed over to his booth. But as soon as she did, Hera knew that her partner wouldn't be accompanying her for their brief supply run. And that was fine with her, in just this one instance.

A lasat was a rare sight in those days- still was, actually. After Lasan was all but obliterated by the Empire, any survivor was doing just that- surviving. They were staying alive, but who could honestly say that they were _living_? Their entire way of life, their culture and their families, had been eradicated by the Empire.

Just like the Jedi.

One survivor drawn to another, Hera let Kanan talk to the lasat in the booth on his own, moving to collect food supplies from Joe.

Kanan had told her later that he had offered absolutely no words of fake sympathy. Telling him that everything would work out in the end would do absolutely nothing- because it wouldn't just _work out_ in the end. Kanan had had to _change_ and _adapt_ and _work through_ his loss, and he had said that much to the lasat. Hera had approved, though only after ensuring that Kanan hadn't said anything to reveal his Jedi status. He had assured her that he had said nothing of the sort, and that Zeb- that was his name -was probably too deep in his drink to put together the pieces of what he _had_ revealed.

And after that, they'd gone to store their food stuffs and move on to their next target. The thing was, Kanan had apparently let in on too much after all, because Zeb had discretely followed them, helping to kick Imperial butts when they'd wandered into a patrol. He'd demonstrated an _exceptional_ use of a Bo-Rifle, surprising both herself and Kanan, who had both assumed he wouldn't be anywhere _near_ as capable as he was, especially with the amount of drink he'd supposedly consumed.

Zeb had glanced at Hera and then sighed, deactivating his rifle, and the spoke in a gravelly and not at all slurred voice- "If this guy's your partner, you're gonna need help teaching him to keep his trap shut."

Hera had quickly turn a raised eyebrow to Kanan, who shrugged with a kind of wary smile as Zeb had continued on.

"If I was anyone else, I would be high-tailing it to the nearest Imperial facility to report a couple of insurgents I'd stumbled on." Hera had taken the initiative then, because she hadn't really been getting any bad vibes off of this lasat- who obviously wasn't as deep in his cups as they'd both assumed. That or he had a rather high alcohol tolerance- it varied from species to species.

"But since we just witnessed you take down nearly a whole squad of troopers with us, I'm guessing that's not the case."

Zeb had lifted the corner of his upper lip, showing one of his canines in a half-feral grin. "You can bet on it. Besides... _you_ said you have to work in order to start moving again- and I think bashing in a couple Imperials with you lot counts." He'd said while looking directly at Kanan. Hera's upper lip had twitched as the Jedi'd frowned slightly, and she'd all but cemented their next crew member's initiation when she'd asked,

"Are you saying you want to join us?"

It was with a snort that their fourth crew member had acknowledged her question. "And bash the heads of these bucket-wearers with the likes of you two?

"...Count me in."

* * *

The addition of a well-trained, muscly warrior, of course, changed things. For one, they had _significantly_ more fire-power than just the three of them. And also... they weren't alone.

Now that there was more on-board to look after than just herself, Kanan and Chopper, things were considerably more lively. For one, whenever the Lasat was in the room with Chopper, things got... heated. The little astromech was necessary to keep the _Ghost_ operating and Zeb was a fully functional member of their crew- and for those reasons, neither one was allowed to kill the other.

That didn't stop Chop from zapping Zeb, or from the Lasat chasing the 'bucket of bolts' down the halls when he did. It had been quite a surprise to be rudely woken by her astromech screaming down the hall, Zeb's thundering footsteps right behind him.

But the most significant change, of course, was that Kanan had someone to relate to.

Hera had done what she could- and she knew the Jedi was eternally grateful for her involvement. And while her species was mostly considered slave material and treated as such in the Outer Rim, that didn't compare to having everyone she'd ever known wiped out and slaughtered. Zeb was someone Kanan could actually connect with on that level, someone who knew and shared his pain.

The two would often have in-depth discussions, able to understand one another more than someone else could because of their unique situations. Hera never heard them directly talk about 'their' slaughters, and she never felt the urge to. If they talked about such things, it was their business and their business alone. If they wanted to come to her for advice or consolation they would, something that had taken Kanan a while to figure out- though he could _still_ be stubborn about it sometimes.

Nevertheless, she was content with letting them have their own private conversations. Hera would help Kanan with the issues that he needed her to help with, and _he_ in turn was helping Zeb with matters that only they could really understand. It was a mutual agreement with the two, and Hera was all the more glad because of it.

Zeb had become an _official_ member of their crew maybe two weeks after their initial meeting, when Kanan had trusted Zeb with the exact nature of his loss. That had been a big moment for him, Hera knew, to share his Jedi status with someone other than her. And she was happy for him to do so- because it meant that he was gradually adapting, opening up and letting others in.

She was happy, because he was helping her help him with his loneliness.


	3. Sabine

**Disclaimer: Okay, the only thing I have in common with Disney is the fish character from Ariel, Flounder. Why, you ask? Because I flounder in the corner when I am forced to admit Rebels is theirs.**

* * *

Their fourth addition came with considerably more of a shock, as she had quite literally jumped down onto them.

Well, onto Zeb, anyways.

Hera hadn't actually been there in person when her crew had met with the teenager. With Zeb now helping Kanan on the ground, she usually fell into the role of the get-away driver, since those two together got themselves into double the trouble. But she had been filled in on _all_ the details afterwards, when the three of them had come back form the supply convoy they'd been raiding. And they had _all_ been raiding it- it was just that the Mandalorian had been acting on her own agenda.

Zeb and Kanan had successfully broken into (well, hijacked was more like it) an Imperial transport stocked with rations, and were in the process of turning it around to TarkinTown when _she_ had jumped in. Swung through the side-door directly into Zeb's face, as the Lasat had put it.

Apparently they'd all stared at one another until the Mandalorian had relaxed slightly, lowering her dual pistols, and stated the rather obvious, "You aren't Imperial."

And further dialogue hadn't occurred beyond that, because the Empire _had_ noticed the dual-hijacking attempts made on their transport in the middle of it's run. Kanan had dove for the steering wheel, while Zeb had sprung to his feet and began shooting back at the bucket-heads firing at their vehicle, while the newcomer had swayed unsteadily before reaching into her belt and pulling out a small, spherical object.

A small and rather _explosive_ spherical object.

With a blue explosion, the four guards on speeder-bikes had been taken out, and Zeb had nearly collapsed laughing. Kanan had continued heading over to TarkinTown, while Zeb had refrained from shoving her out of the vehicle or knocking her out solely because she'd severely entertained him.

It had been after their successful delivery to the impoverished town that Hera had had the chance to meet the Mandalorian, who had introduced herself as Sabine. Apparently, she'd kept around them- and had been allowed to stay -that far because both parties were interested and surprised to see someone else doing what they were doing: standing up to the Empire. And, of course, Hera had read between the lines when Kanan had given her an inquiring look as Zeb and Sabine had started quipping jibes at the Empire.

It was a silent question, one that had Hera smiling softly later in the night.

She'd raised an eyebrow and shrugged, letting Kanan make the decision. After all, they did have one more empty room capable of accommodating another crew member. And someone with Sabine's obvious skills and... artful _spunk_ would be warmly welcomed. Heck, she seemed to be starting a quick friendship with Zeb even now.

And so, Kanan had asked Sabine if she would be willing to help them take a bite out of the Empire.

When she'd taken off her painted helmet to reveal vibrant orange-and-blue hair and a wide grin, they'd affirmed the fifth addition to their crew.

* * *

And the addition of Sabine had been an explosive one. Where Zeb was grumpy and loud, Sabine was mostly quiet and contemplative... which led to eye-popping paintings cropping up in various locations around Hera's ship. Of course, the Mandalorian could match Zeb in loudness and ferocity when she wanted to- especially if she had one of her original paint bombs on hand. Despite their age differences, Zeb and Sabine had quickly turned out to be fast friends- something Chopper found _highly_ disturbing, especially when the lasat threatened to set the Mandalorian on him with bright green paint in the mornings.

Hera herself had formed a camaraderie with the young teen, who would often come to her for advice, once she'd become adjusted to them. Which, honestly, hadn't taken long. Sabine was about as shy and bashful as her custom designed armor suggested, something that had let her fit in rather quickly with the _Ghost_ crew.

Of course, needless to say, Kanan had also forged quite a bond with the young Mandalorian.

With Zeb it had been more of a friendly bond, a brotherly one, even, since the lasat was actually quite a bit older than both of them. But with Sabine?

Hera could see that Kanan had the need to... not exactly protect, though that was also a factor, but... to look after the Mandalorian. She was by _far_ younger than any of them, only a teen, and there was some basic urge that was pushing him towards taking care of Sabine.

Of course, she didn't really _need_ to be looked after. She was... quite adept at fending for herself.

But the way he was around her, especially once she'd settled in (and had... _redecorated_ quite a bit of square-footage around the _Ghost_ ), his connection to her was just slightly more of a parental bond than just a simple friendly one. The teasing, the laughter, the advice he'd managed to give her when she'd admitted attending the Imperial academy... and how well they worked together in ops. Together, the three of them- Kanan, Zeb and Sabine -were an absolute _terror_ for any bucket-head they stumbled into.

Hera couldn't help but be content when she saw her partner interacting with their explosion expert. The fact that Kanan was willing and had actually _invited_ such a bond to be made only indicated that he wasn't hesitant at making those types of connections anymore; that his past was no longer haunting him into seclusion.

It was entirely Kanan's idea to let someone into their tightly-knit crew, appropriately named 'Spectres' after Sabine had created the code-name, following the template of _Ghost_ and _Phantom_. It was _his_ idea and _his_ initiative that expanded their little family- such a step showed he was overcoming his fear of being hurt by his bonds, and Hera was appropriately glad that her friend had been able to pass that obstacle.

Hera had been smiling the night they'd added Sabine because she'd finally managed to help him overcome his loneliness.


	4. Ezra

**Aaand, the last chapter before the romance fluff- and one of my personal favorites to write. :3**

 **Disclaimer: Where do you think I go when I'm forced to realize Disney owns Rebels instead of me? That's right- in the corner. To flounder some more.**

* * *

And just about a year after they'd initiated Sabine into their little crew, Kanan had made one last addition that Hera suspected had the biggest impact on him than anything else- seconded only by her initial involvement.

Because to a Jedi, there was little in life more important than a Padawan.

* * *

Ezra's initiation to the _Ghost_ crew had been nearly ten times more dangerous than Zeb and Sabine's. Because no, they didn't just have to take out a few bucket-heads- they'd had to infiltrate a _Star Destroyer_ and go on a Wookie rescue mission on Kessel. Not only that-

But Kanan's Jedi status had been exposed to the Empire.

With that new knowledge, attention from the likes of the Inquisitor was only to be expected- as with the danger level of most of their ops doubling. Instead of being a simple thorn in the Empire's side, they were now being actively hunted by some of the most cunning minds the Empire had to offer. Which was, as their numerous close encounters proved, _very_ dangerous. All in all, taking in Ezra had been one of the _Ghost_ 's crew's riskier decisions.

And not a single one of them would take it back.

For multitudes of reasons, of course, one of them being that he was irrevocably a part of their crew- they were a team; and they were loyal to one another to a fault. Ezra was one of the smartest and liveliest teenagers Hera at least had ever run across, and that was made pretty obvious when he ran circles around the Empire- sometimes _literally_ in order to distract or evade. He was also small enough to fit inside ventilation shafts, which gave them access to all sorts of new territory. That and he just fit well with the crew- they laughed together, they fought together, and, when Chopper would intervene, both he and Zeb would take great pleasure chasing the astromech down. Ezra was... well, family. Just like Sabine, like Zeb, like Chopper, like Kanan himself.

And along with the protective instinct he shared with both Sabine and now Ezra, Hera could see Kanan's absolute _care_ for the kid. He was... _rather_ attached to Ezra, something he would occasionally muse about to her. Though, she didn't really need him to spell it out for her- she could see that both of them meant a great deal to the other.

Hera had a belief that they had both rescued each other- Kanan from the demons from his past Hera hadn't been able to reach, and Ezra from the loneliness in his heart and... well, the absence of a father-figure.

And it was so, _so_ obvious that that was one of the main driving points of their relationship. With Sabine, there had been hints of a parental connection. With Ezra... it might be just because she knew Kanan so well, but to Hera it was plain as day that the two were acting almost exactly like a father and a son. Not that she ever told Kanan that- he already knew, somewhere in the back of his head. Ezra too, probably.

Which was the secondary reason why Ezra's addition to the _Ghost_ crew was most likely the most important one for Kanan. Forging such a... _paternal_ bond with Ezra only went to show Hera how far Kanan had come from the man she'd met on Gorse who had been hesitant to form even the most basic of attachments. Since he had been able to decide to care so deeply for Ezra, Hera _knew_ , without a doubt, that Kanan wasn't scared of getting hurt from his bonds.

But, of course, that was the _secondary_ reason. It was seconded, because the one thing that Hera _knew_ made those two tick together in such harmony was their connection to each other in the Force. After all, as something that was like a 'sixth sense,' as Kanan had tried to describe it, it connected them much deeper than any physical force could.

That, and it was generally _freeing_ them both. Ezra, because he'd found an actual _purpose_ with which to devote himself other than their fight with the Empire, and Kanan... because he was able to make peace with his past.

Hera knew he was doubtful of his abilities to teach, because of his past and his own incomplete training. But she still smiled whenever she thought about it-

Because Kanan was pushing through those doubts and insecurities, and was actually training the wily teenager he'd grown so fond of. He didn't really know what he was doing- but the Force did, and Kanan was finally allowing himself to connect with it in a way Hera had never been able to coax him into doing. He might trust her with his life- and more -but it took an apprentice to finally getting Kanan to begin confronting his past in depth.

And he had been able to _decide_ to take on a Padawan, because after all the years Hera had known him, she'd finally gotten Kanan to stop fearing being wounded from losing the people he cared about. He'd been able to make such deep, deep connections, because he was no longer completely convinced they would be lost- instead, Kanan was completely convinced (as were the rest of the crew) that he would fight with anything and everything he had at his disposal before he would lose those bonds.

That was another reason Hera was so happy for her partner: because he had finally pushed through his fears and his wariness, to come out a stronger man, and a definite part of the family he had helped Hera build around them.

He wasn't so scared of being hurt from losing his bonds that he no longer made them- instead he would fight with everything he had to _keep_ those connections that they had both worked so hard to forge.

But- as she found out late at night after their terrifying encounter with Vader -that did _not_ , by _any_ means, mean he wasn't afraid of losing them.


	5. You're Not Alone, Dear

**And- the end. Yes yes, this is a short story, but until I get more comfortable with romance, that's how it'll stay. Although this chapter is by _no means_ short... probably because I can't resist torturing Ezra. }:3**

 **And those who haven't read 'A New Dawn', there is mentions in here of a Count Vidian. All you need to know about him is that Kanan and Hera stopped his plot to blow up a moon for it's natural resources, as a result saving the moon and the mining companies on it's planet. Also, go read the book, it's awesome.**

 **Ezrabine fans- your turn is coming soon. Promise. :)**

 **Disclaimer: What's been the overall theme of disclaimers for this romance? That's right- floundering in the corner. And you know why? ...Because I'm super jealous of Disney for owning Rebels, but can't do anything about it. (That and I legit have no idea how to write romance)**

* * *

"How's your arm doing?" Kanan looked up at her from the Dejarik board in the rec-room, his teal eyes surprisingly clear despite the late hour. Honestly, Hera didn't expect much else; not when he was completely absorbed in the holograms playing above the board-

Holograms of Vader.

He shrugged, giving the fore-mentioned armored limb a quick look-over. She'd made him bandage the lightsaber burn once they'd gotten settled back into the _Ghost_ , something she would like to think he would have done anyways without her prodding- though she had a sneaking suspicion he would have ignored his injury in favor of going over any and all information they had access to on the Sith Lord they'd encountered.

"It's fine. Doesn't hurt any more, if that's what you're asking." Hera raised an eyebrow, and he sighed. "I'll change the dressings on it before I head into bed, you don't have to worry."

"You know I do; you don't worry about yourself nearly as much as you should." His upper lip twitched, but it quickly settled back down into his stoic not-really-a-frown-but-not-happy-either serious face. This time it was Hera's turn to sigh as she moved further into the room.

"You should be heading to your cabin soon, Kanan. It's late." He turned his gaze from the holograms a second, giving her a raised eyebrow.

"You're up as well." She shrugged in response

"I had to do some quick maintenance- apparently, Zeb and Ezra jammed Chop's charging port sometime beforehand, and I had to make some quick repairs so he could charge overnight." Kanan smiled softly at the mention of his Padawan and lasat crew-mate causing their normal shenanigans, but as his gaze slid back over to the large blue Sith floating above the table, it slid off his face rather quickly.

Hera made to sit on the rounded bench, scooting in a bit from the edge to move closer to Kanan. She could tell he had something massive weighing down on his shoulders- and the fact that he wasn't objecting her staying up this late as well meant he needed to share it. And share it was exactly what he did, just in a round-about way that she still understood nonetheless.

"How's Sabine doing?"

So it was worry about the crew that was keeping him up- not the first time it had ever happened.

"Sore, but she's fine. Honestly, I think she's more upset that the blasts scorched her paint job than the actual damage done." Kanan grunted, apparently nonchalant. Hera wasn't fooled for an instant.

"Kanan, looking up on this guy until you're drop-dead tired in the morning won't help anyone. You can always look at this stuff when it's actually a decent hour of the day." Kanan rubbed his eyes, fingers progressively moving to massage his temples as he responded to her.

"I know... I just feel so- powerless. Back there, it was all we could do to get out alive, and even then it was by the skin of our teeth..." He let out a large breath, and it was only because Hera was adept at looking for the signs that she heard it shake. "You saw what happened out there. We were no match for him- and if I had been even a second slower, Ezra-"

He stopped, seemingly unable to finish the thought.

Hera's hand snaked its' way to her partner's, gripping it tightly with the reassurance she knew he needed but refused to ask for. She herself was reassured when he squeezed back slightly, simultaneously indulging in her support and thanking her for it.

"Be that as it may, you still need sleep. The whole fleet- what's left of it, they're all aware of the threat Vader poses. They won't underestimate him, and they're all doing as much research as they can. You don't need to do this alone." Kanan's gaze lowered from the hologram to their combined hands.

"I don't think I'd be able to."

Hera looked away, breathing deeply with a faraway look to her face. "I don't think I'd be able to either." She saw Kanan give her a small half-smile with a raised eyebrow out of the corner of her eyes.

"Really? As I recall, you were doing a pretty good job working solo on Gorse. All I happened to do was bumble in and try to help." Hera smiled at that, though she shook her head.

"Now that's not true. If you hadn't 'bumbled in,' Count Vidian would never have been stopped. He would have blown up that moon, and thousands of people would have their lives ruined. I never would have been able to stop that on my own." Kanan hummed in response, looking back down at their hands. Hera could tell he wasn't seeing them, though. He was deep in his thoughts, the handhold a mere placeholder for his gaze as his mind spun on.

Hera looked at him, closely. She could always read him like an open book, but this time, there seemed to be something off about him that she _just_ couldn't quite place. He was feeling a little lost and unsure, that much Hera knew, as well as just a bit off-kilter. These things were obvious to her. But there was just... _something_ in those eyes she hadn't yet deciphered, in all the years she'd known him.

"There's something else on your mind." Kanan remained silent for a beat, then nodded, with a slight frown.

"It's... complicated."

"Most of the things you worry yourself over are, dear."

"Yeah." Kanan's gaze broke from their hands, moving back to stare at the slowly revolving holo of Vader and the numerous panels of information and news reports around him. He took a deep breath through his nose, chewing his tongue. Hera remained silent, knowing Kanan would share his thoughts as soon as he knew exactly how to. Which honestly didn't take that long; his mind moved quickly.

"Everything's changed, now. We won't be able to go back to that life, will we?" It wasn't a question, more of a statement, one that made Hera also stare at Vader, contemplating.

"No. We won't be. Is that what's bothering you?" He smiled, but it was tight.

"Not directly. It's just... This sounds odd, but despite the danger... we were _safe_. And now... we won't ever be safe again."

And now Hera knew exactly what was keeping her partner up.

They were all no longer safe, when before they had been. Not in the sense that they weren't in dangerous situations- in the sense that the force hunting them down had been somewhat _manageable_. Now that Vader had come and had demonstrated just how outclassed they were, the crew knew- this wasn't just another Inquisitor. This guy was far, far worse. With the bucket-heads, escape was easy, almost routine. With the Inquisitor, escape was challenging, if a little narrow at times. With Vader- if they met him again and had to fight, escape would be impossible.

Kanan was afraid of losing a fight against the Sith- and by extent, _them_.

"You're scared of losing us."

The sharp, constricted intake of breath, the unconscious tightening of his grip on her hand, and the slight narrowing of his eyes told Hera she was right long before he slowly nodded.

"Out there... we were torn apart. Vader is the Sith that took out some of the strongest Jedi Masters we had... Master Windu, Master Kenobi, Yoda, Skywalker... Hera, I'm _nothing_ compared to the Masters, and Vader was able to take _them_ out. I'm... I can't protect us from him. If he confronts us again, I won't be able to protect _any_ of us from him, including the other members of the fleet."

"Hey- you're not alone in this, you know. You're not our only defense against Vader." Hera tightened her grip on Kanan's hand, drawing his gaze to her face and punctuating her point. "Being part of a fleet doesn't _just_ mean you have more responsibilities- it means you have _allies_. I don't think Ahsoka would just stand around there if Vader came up against us, nor would the rest of the rebels. We're not alone."

The look on his face was hollow. He stared at her for a few moments, then returned his gaze to their hands once more. "That doesn't stop the fear." He laughed- but it was bitter, his expression pained. "And it's not the kind of fear that I can chase away with meditation, either. This... Hera, I am terrified down to my _soul_ that I'm going to lose _any_ of you."

 _This man... after everything he's been through, it's still the thought of losing_ us _that scares him the most._

Hera was staring at the side of Kanan's face, voice silent and eyes deliberating.

 _I have to stop him being afraid- didn't I say that?_

Yeah- yeah, that was what she said. And _that_ was the reason that finally let her morals and love co-exist together-

Because she loved Kanan Jarrus.

She loved his cocky battle-banter. She loved his teasing of the crew. She loved his respect for her boundaries. She loved his gentle side. She loved the thoughtful gestures. The jokes. The laughter. The determination. The fire inside of him. She loved everything that made him _him_. She'd loved him maybe since the start- and then their constant companionship and deepening bond morphed that love into something she could never lose or forget.

And now, that love was finally drawn up to the surface. Because she finally had a reason for it. Anyone who didn't know her would have called it an excuse- but Hera Syndulla had an honest reason to finally let her suppressed feelings loose. And the reason was-

There was practically nothing else that could set Kanan back up on his feet. Her usual comforts and reassurances wouldn't help him battle the fear to a manageable level- it was a deeply-rooted terror, one mere words would not be able to reach. Her normal assurance would only go so far; words were, after all, rather blank and impassive when compared to the expression of a passionate heart.

Honestly, what was the point of _her_ being completely focused when her partner was not? This was the only way she could get him back on track- and that was what finally broke the dam. That was what finally let Hera feel what she had forbidden herself to feel for all these years. And so she acted on the newly released flood of emotions.

"You won't. You won't lose any of us." Kanan turned a raised eyebrow to look at her, but there must have been an untold amount of conviction in her face, because he refrained from a sarcastic response. He blinked at her, looking honestly surprised, and then his eyebrows contracted slightly.

"You're... actually convinced of that." That must have come as a shock to him, but not to her. Then again, she wasn't the one plagued with so many doubts that she stayed up until late researching on their enemies. She still had her fears for her crew, but they were tempered by this new determination that had been unlocked- by the fire she now had burning inside. Nothing would happen- and if it did, they would deal with it. Like how right now she needed to deal with the Jedi next to her.

She nodded, and scooted a few inches closer to Kanan, who's eyes were still searching and unblinking as he tried to comprehend her conviction that they would be alright.

"How are you so... sure?" Hera moved closer, staring directly into his teal eyes.

"Because, love, when I took you in I swore you wouldn't ever be alone again, and I'm not about to let all my hard work go to waste."

And she kissed him.

She felt him tense- and then relax. Hera brought up her other hand, holding his cheek as she broke away. She smiled softly in response to Kanan's wide-eyed look of shock- the good kind.

"Everything will be okay. Trust me- I'm always right."

"I- I..." Her smile grew as Kanan opened and closed his mouth, seemingly unable to work it properly.

"Am suddenly very glad you happened to bumble your way into my life? Me too."

Kanan shook his head like he was trying to clear his jumbled mess of thoughts, and Hera had to resist the urge to chuckle. Sometimes he was so suave and charming, and others, just so... adorable.

"Hera?" She cocked her head, teasing, still smiling. "I love you."

Yes, sometimes he could be suave and charming or adorable... and others he just made her heart melt.

"I know."

* * *

It was a good thing the both of them usually woke up long before any other members of the crew, because neither one of them had fallen asleep in their cabins. As it was, they had managed to sneak off to their rooms and prepare themselves for the day in private, before the other Spectres were up and about.

Hera was happy. And, as a matter of fact, so was Kanan. Oh yes, they both still had innumerable doubts and fears, but they would both work together- in anything and everything they did -to make sure those fears were never grounded.

But of course, they weren't in any fairytale. They didn't wake up to blazing determination and a fully refreshed and energized crew. Instead, they woke up to each other, still tangled on the bench- and with a very, _very_ oddly behaving crew.

When everyone had woken, they'd seemingly congregated in the eating galley. Both Zeb and Sabine were casting anxious and somewhat concerned glances at Ezra, who was eating out of a bowl and seemingly refusing to ever look away from it.

Kanan frowned, raising an eyebrow at Zeb while Hera moved to make herself a morning meal and start on some caf. The lasat came over to the Jedi, speaking softly. "Something's up with the kid. He hasn't said a word since he woke up, and, well..." Another look at Ezra's bowl-stare was all that was needed to confirm something was up.

"Ezra? You okay kid?"

It was somewhat concerning that Ezra tensed up as soon as Kanan said his name, then turned his head slowly to face his Master. He took a deep breath, opened his mouth, and seemed to lose his nerve, because he just nodded vigorously instead of replying, looking back down into his bowl and chewing with a vengeance.

Hera's eyes narrowed, hands making her meal on their own accord as she observed the silent teen. His cheeks were slowly heating under an angry blush.

"Are you sure?" Kanan crossed over to his apprentice, placing a cautious hand on his shoulder and tilting his head to take a closer look at his Padawan. Ezra choked on his meal, and the concern on Kanan's face doubled even as Ezra nodded his head in earnest.

"No you're not! What's bothering you?" Kanan was genuinely looking the kid up and down for an obvious sign of something wrong, while Ezra shook his hands in front of him with a passion.

"Nothing! I'm fine! I swear!" His voice was an octave higher than normal.

Hera slowly lowered her hand from the caf brewer, splaying them flat on the counter as she realized the obvious. She turned around to look fully at the teen, interrupting Kanan before he even had a chance to ask another question.

"Ezra, dear?" Her voice was soft, but the kid still had impossibly wide eyes when he he turned slowly to face her. He hummed in response, though it sounded a lot more like a squeak. A very, _very_ embarrassed squeak.

"Just how much of Kanan's feelings filter in through your bond with him?"

The galley had never been so silent before. Kanan, to his credit was keeping a very neutral expression on his face, though he'd kind of frozen as the implications of what Hera had said sunk in. On the other hand, if Ezra had been lightly blushing before, now he was practically burning up, with his eyes as wide as the caf cups behind her. After a pregnant pause, he managed to squeak out,

"E-enough."

Hera nodded slowly, suspicions confirmed, and moved back to making her caf without so much as a blush. Kanan, on the other hand, was stuck right next to his fidgeting apprentice, and his diction had apparently run off without him, because his mouth wasn't working again. Eventually he just sat down, looking quite flummoxed.

"Ah."

Zeb narrowed his eyes, looking between Kanan and Ezra suspiciously. "What? What am I missing here?" Kanan's tongue was in his cheek, and Ezra was back to staring at his bowl.

"Well, uh... nothing. It's nothing." Was apparently all Kanan needed to say to make Sabine gasp.

She looked at Hera, her mouth opened widely into a gaping, grinning 'o', and she looked between her and Kanan. "You didn't..." When Hera smiled softly and took a sip of her now-prepared caf, Sabine broke into one of the biggest and goofiest grins Hera had ever seen. "You _did_!"

"What?! What did she do?" Sabine only slapped her hands over her mouth in answer to Zeb's prodding, giggling profusely and seemingly having a very hard time controlling them. Hera only drank her caf as the severely confused lasat turned to her and then to Ezra, who'd buried his head in his hands, forgoing the half-eaten meal in front of him. Kanan was nodding his head, still trying to find the words to communicate to his Padawan.

"Oh my gosh _Hera_! It _took_ you two long enough!" Sabine was still wearing that shameless grin, and Hera smiled behind her cup. She shrugged as Kanan spluttered.

"Well, we were busy. But, I can see your point. Besides, it was fun-"

Ezra yelped and was out of the room so fast he was nothing more than an orange blur in Hera's vision.

Sabine very nearly collapsed with laughter, while Kanan groaned and put his hands into his head. Zeb looked between him and Hera, eyes narrowing and ears twitching as she brought the Jedi his cup of caf and sat down in the seat across him. She raised an eyebrow at Zeb, who finally asked, "What did Kanan do to make the kid _run away_?"

Ominous giggles drifted from the out-of-commission Mandalorian on the floor, and Hera kept her face neutral. "I don't know, Zeb. Why don't you go ask Ezra?"

"Don't you _dare_!" Hera smirked at the teenager's panicky yell, and she knew he probably wouldn't make an appearance to _any_ of them until the next day.

"You know..." Kanan had looked up finally, "Maybe... I should... talk... to him..."

"Kanan, love, I don't think he's gonna be able to _talk_ until he manages to _think_ without a blush." Kanan sighed, drinking from his caf with a small smile nonetheless, and then looked over to Zeb with the most serious look he could muster.

"We're going to be ready for whatever Ahsoka needs us to be able to do, so if you wouldn't mind un-plugging Chop from his charging port and telling him to start repair work?" Zeb stared at Kanan for a second, still apparently trying to figure out what had spooked his bunkmate so, and then shook his head.

"You Jedi-folk are so weird." He took a look at Sabine, who was still trying to recover from her bout of laughter. "Never mind- you're _all_ weird." And he walked out of the room, muttering about his strange crew-members.

Hera sighed contentedly, smiling at Kanan brightly. "We should probably get going on repairs as well. Fulcrum said she wanted us to head out and recruit some old allies, so we should be getting started soon."

Kanan hummed and nodded, standing up and looking at the door with a sympathetic smile. "Poor kid..."

"He'll be okay, Kanan." Hera smiled up at her Jedi, and thinking- not for the first time -how lucky she was to have met him.

"We'll all be okay."

"Yeah... especially when Chopper realizes what went on and gets all defensive over Hera." Sabine's devilish smirk and comment made Kanan pause, contemplate for a second or two with an open mouth, and then head out the door quickly.

"Hey, Zeb? Maybe hold off on activating Chop for a minute or two..." Both she and Sabine burst into laughter, Hera finally letting her amusement at the entire situation out as Kanan tried to prolong the amount of time he spent pain-free.

Oh yeah, they would be alright. Whatever the Empire threw at them- both she and Kanan would fight it together, with their family, and make absolutely sure that they would all come out in the end.


End file.
